Mother’s Day – Expanding Our Perspective
Mark 3: 31-35
Roger Lynn
May 9, 2021

It is a time honored tradition which has been around for as long as we can remember. It is, as the saying goes, as American as baseball and apple pie. We are, of course, talking about Mother’s Day.

Some of you may remember being in church on this particular Sunday in years now long since past, when there would be flowers for the oldest mother, recognition for the mother with the most children, etc. And, of course, the same wonderful woman was the oldest every year – because once you are the oldest, it is difficult for anyone to pass you up.

Mothers in general, and Mother’s Day in particular, receive a considerable amount of sentimental attention in our culture. Therefore, I will skip that particular side of the story, pretty much entirely. Not because it doesn’t deserve our attention. Most of the time, mothers are a pretty terrific addition to our lives and deserve far more recognition than they usually receive. But, on this day in particular, such sentimental recognition is already being taken care of quite well. So instead, I would like to spend a few moments considering some alternative perspectives.

It is important for us to remember that not everyone experiences Mother’s Day in a positive way. As the Church, we need to be sensitive to people for whom such holidays as this only serve as a reminder of pain or loss. On the other hand, this need not become the major focus of the day. In one of his books, Robert Fulghum wrote a piece about Mother’s Day. In one section he tells about a particular Mother’s Day when he was still preaching in a church. He decided to address the down side of the issue and proceeded to put forth a series of questions which served to remind the congregation that such times were not all hugs and kisses for everyone. Good idea – bad timing. The sanctuary was very quiet. One encounter sums up the reaction. “A visiting lady, who had “sainted mother” written all over her face, accosted me after church: “Young man, better men than you have gone straight to hell for suggesting less than what you said this morning. Shame, shame, SHAME for spoiling the day.” ”

Well, I’m reasonably astute when it comes to noticing lessons worth learning, so I would like to avoid that particular trap. Not every moment is the right moment for dealing with every topic, even when it is important. Being exclusive is not always a bad thing. There are times when it is very appropriate to focus on a person or group of people and give them their due. Mothers are such a group. Mother’s Day is such a day.

But what if we could go one better? If being exclusive is not always a bad thing, being inclusive is usually a better thing, if you can pull it off. What if we can take the good feelings of this day and then widen our field of vision concerning what we are celebrating? We can begin by looking carefully at what we are honoring on Mother’s Day. As important, and sometimes difficult, a task as giving birth to a child is, that is not the main reason for this special day. My sister used to send our mother a card every year, and my sister was adopted. Giving birth doesn’t even enter into that particular relationship. It has more to do with what happens between those two people after birth. It is less about biology than it is about relationship. And in that light we can begin experiencing a new up side to this whole business of Mother’s Day. It can encompass mothers and a great deal more as well.

From this new perspective we can begin thinking about all the people in our lives who have been mothers to us (or fathers or sisters or brothers). Have we offered thanks to God for the gift of such people in our lives? Have we said thanks to the people themselves? Why not send them a Mother’s Day card and really surprise them?

But there is more good news regarding this broadening of our perspective. We can also begin thinking about the people for whom we are, or might become, mothers (or fathers or sisters or brothers.) What are some ways we can share the gift of ourselves with someone else? How can we be nurturing and loving in their lives?

In the scripture from Mark which we heard read this morning, Jesus had some things to say about all of this. Often these words have been seen as being rather harsh. I invite you to listen this time with fresh hearing. “Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3: 31-35)

I don’t believe Jesus was being harsh and uncaring to his family. From the cross he made sure that his mother was taken care of. He was simply reminding all of us, once again, that our vision is often too narrow. A relationship is not determined by biology. A relationship is determined by the quality the connection which is shared between people.

Fulghum’s essay on Mother’s Day actually addressed all of this as well. The opening line is, “My son is a mother.” He says, “I call him a “mother” in that he does all those things that, once upon a time, mostly mothers did. I admire him for this.” He ends the article this way: “My Sunday obligations are over now. I am on safer ground in passing some advice on to my son the mother. Advice for his older brother as well, who is engaged and has the fecund look about him that tells me motherhood is not far away from him, either. . . You will never really know what kind of parent you were or if you did it right or wrong. Never. And you will worry about this and them as long as you live. But when your children have children and you watch them do what they do, you will have part of an answer.”
(from “It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It”, by Robert Fulghum)

So, celebrate this Mother’s Day. If you have a mother with whom you can share this day, rejoice and give thanks. If you are a mother, enjoy the gift of your children. But, regardless of your circumstance, expand your vision. Open your life to the touch of those who would share of themselves. Reach out and give of yourself to those around you with whom you share life. God has given us the gift of each other and we are called to share deeply, fully, and richly in each other’s lives. May we make this a Mother’s Day for ALL to celebrate.